Enneagram Test

I took the Enneagram Test this week as a distraction. I am a Type 3 - The Achiever, with balanced wings (what that means, I am still unsure of).

Secretly, I wanted to be a Type 9 - The Peacemaker, because that is what I am studying after all.

I am not sure if I am really a 3, but I could relate to this paragraph describing one:
"Because it is central to the type Three fixation to require external validation, Threes often, consciously and unconsciously, attempt to embody the image of success that is promoted by their culture. Threes get in trouble when they confuse true happiness, which depends on inner states, with the image of happiness which society has promoted. If a Three has a "good" job and an "attractive" mate, she might be willing, through an act of self-deception which is also self-betrayal, to ignore the inner promptings which tell her that neither her job, nor her mate are fulfilling her deeper needs. Even the most "successful" Threes, who generally appear quite happy, often hide a deeply felt sense of meaninglessness. The attainment of the image never quite satisfies."

I could relate not only because I have an attractive mate, but because I often judge my life based on society's definition of success and not my own. I am working on this, but it is a challenge for me.

Do you think I am really a three?

What type are you?

P.S. More Bonsia pictures to come if you aren't sick of it yet.

An Addendum to My Last Post

I am in the library, where I have been all day. It is my home away from home. I feel a bit better now about school. I just finished writing a nine page paper that is due Monday, and I only started it this morning. That is some kind of record for me.

You may now call me Speedy Gonzales if you'd like.

The Line Has Been Crossed

The line that I am referring to is the point in the semester where grad school shifts from being manageable to completely overwhelming. That line was crossed today. During our environmental justice class, as our professor assigned yet another paper in addition to our thirty page paper that is due in a month, I think all fifteen of us in our cohort had similar images of drowning in schoolwork. Our lives are no longer our own for the next two months. The only way I can describe how I felt sitting in class today is a mix between feeling like I was going to hyperventilate and like someone was slowly placing bricks on my entire body. And at 9:30 pm I just arrived home from being at school all day. Ah, the joys of being a student!

Reflecting Upon My Time in Bosnia

I’m sure anyone who reads this blog is tired of hearing about Bosnia. Because really, that is all I have posted about in the past month or two. I haven’t written about much else, because I didn’t really know how to express myself or explain my journey. Truthfully, it was very nice to have a focus away from life here in San Diego for a while. These past few months have been challenging for me. I have been asking myself some pretty big questions around faith and purpose. I have had some interesting interactions around these topics and some awkward ones. I have spent the past few months vacillating between depression, apathy, joy, and hope. I have never been more in love with my husband, but I have probably never driven him crazier than I have in the past few months. Within that context, I went off to Bosnia and was away from home for nine days.

People ask how my trip was, and because so many people ask, but not all of them want a long explanation, I have narrowed it down to one word: formative.

My trip was formative.

In my solitude, I thought a lot about what I believe and what I value.

I believe that there is a higher power greater than myself. I call this higher power God and sometimes Jesus. I know that there are many others who use a different name, and I find strength in so many people believing in something beyond themselves and what is tangible. I don’t know all of the details about what I believe, but I am okay with not knowing for now.

I value family, friends, and community. I want to make a difference in the world, but really, these are the things that matter most.

So if you ask me what I plan to do when I graduate, you will not get an answer. I do not have one, and I finally am okay and content with not knowing.

Majestic Mostar

I am glad you liked Sarajevo, but you will love Mostar more. It is more breathtaking in its beauty, but like Sarajevo has two faces because of the war. It exemplifies how beauty intersects with destruction and the memory of war that is so apparent in the people and the landscape of Bosnia-Herzegovina.

Mostar is famous for its bridge that you can see in the above and below pictures. It was originally built during the 16th century by the Turkish, but it was destroyed in the war in 1993, and then rebuilt in 2004.

These are my new friends drinking coffee at the bridge. They are all graduate students in Peace Studies like me, and I am so grateful to have met them. From left to right: Penda (originally from Guinea, Africa and studying in Scotland), Dacia (originally from Colorado and studying in Northern Ireland), and Heather (originally from Oakland and studying in Northern Ireland)

Walking the streets of Mostar:

A mosque:

I think the following picture exemplifies Bosnia-Herzegovina. There are two mosques, a church, and a crane all in close proximity, highlighting the different religions which create tension, and then the rebuilding that is still needed physically, emotionally, and psychologically.

A mosque and a church:

There used to be a Jewish synagogue on this site, but it was destroyed during the war and never rebuilt.

Throughout Mostar, there are reminders of the war:

Here on this building, you can see remnants of the war:

More destruction from the war:

And still more:

But, a lot has been rebuilt... and it is quite beautiful.

Scenes of Sarajevo

When people ask to see photos from my trip, I don't think they are aware of what they are really asking for, because I took a lot of pictures and I have a lot to say about them. Plus, I am not one of those people that is good at sorting through photos and deciding which ones are show-worthy and which are not. Because how can the country of Bosnia-Herzegovina be expressed in just a few selected pictures?

So I will post them in installments, beginning with Sarajevo. I hope you enjoy its beauty and character as I did.

The picture below is the bridge that the Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria-Hungary was assassinated on, along with his pregnant wife, in 1914. This is the event that started WWI. As a history nerd, this was pretty exciting for me to see.

This is the old part of town that has a lot of Turkish influence from the days of the Ottoman Empire. The pigeons that you see are famous and can always be found around the fountain.

A beautiful mosque in the old part of town:

Looking down on Sarajevo:

A mosque:

Walking the streets of Sarajevo:

This is what they call the "Sarajevo Roses." After the war, some of the holes in the streets that were caused by bombs were filled in with red material as a way to provide a memory of what happened, but also a focus on moving forward. The red color has faded quite a bit, which is a good sign I think.

This is the eternal flame that was lit when WWII ended. It only stopped burning during the war in Bosnia-Herzegovina, which took place from 1992-95, and then continued burning after the war.

A church:

In Sarajevo, neighborhoods are of great importance. Neighbors are very close, will look out for each other like family, and will go into each others homes without knocking. Because of this, often cemeteries are built in neighborhoods. They like those who have passed away to be close.

Last Day in Bosnia

Yesterday in Mostar was amazing. I was fortunate enough to meet three other girls who are getting their master's degrees in Peace Studies at the conference (two in Northern Ireland and one in Scotland), and those are the girls I have been spending the past few days with. The four of us took the 7:05 am train to Mostar, which lived up to its reputation of being a beautiful train ride. The Old Town part of Mostar with the famous bridge was absolutely breathtaking and sunny! We wandered around the cobblestone streets, crossed the bridge back and forth several times, visited churches and mosques, and sat outside in the sun drinking Bosnian coffee, eating Bosnian food, and drinking Bosnian beer. It was a delightful day with an incredibly funny and adventurous taxi ride to see a "big rock in Buna." The locals we were hanging out with on Friday night in the Old Town part of Sarajevo told us that we had to go see the "big rock in Buna" while we were in Mostar and they raved about its beauty. We grabbed a taxi from Mostar to attempt to find this big, beautiful rock, only to arrive in Buna, which was a small, completely flat town. After many attempts at communication (which involved a cell phone translation and some Russian) with our taxi driver who spoke no English, we finally made it to the big rock which was beautiful, but was not in Buna.

I won't be able to post any pictures until I get home, but the pictures should sum up the trip better than I can in writing.

On my last day here, I plan to wander the streets taking pictures, shop in the Old Town, visit a museum or two, drink more Bosnian coffee, eat more Bosnian food, and drink more Bosnian beer.

I have so much to say about this interesting week I have spent in Bosnia-Herzegovina, about the remnants of war that come up in many conversations with locals and in many buildings as one walks through the cities. About the impossibility of ever traveling to this country as a vegetarian or while on the Atkin's diet. About the surpassing beauty of this country that is still trying to rebuild physically, relationally, and emotionally.

As I continue to reflect upon my experience here, I will continue to write about it for those who are interested in reading about it. And if you don't like reading, you can at least look at the pictures.

Time in Bosnia: 10:21 am, Sunday, March 15

From Sarajevo

The conference on Thursday was an invaluable experience for the point I am at in my master’s degree. It was nice to be able to participate in a collaborative effort around conflict and education. Much was discussed and presented. I still need to process it and reflect upon it, and then I will write more about it later.

Last night we went to the Sarajevo Brewery after the conference was over (just the non-Save the Children folks), and then this morning we went on a walking tour around the city, and finished off in Old Town with some local shopping and local food. I took a nap this afternoon and I am meeting friends at 6 for the evening. Tomorrow, it is off to Mostar for the day.

I hoped to post some pictures of beautiful Sarajevo, which is much more beautiful than I expected, but I can't seem to upload them to my computer, so that will have to wait.

Time in Bosnia: 5:36 pm, Friday, March 13

Today is the Big Day

If you are interested in learning more, click here.

Time in Bosnia: 6:33 am, Thursday, March 12.

I Finally Got My Luggage

I only received my luggage today, which means I spent over 72 hours wearing the same clothes, even to sleep in.

To be honest, the first day I spent in Sarajevo, I was quite depressed because I looked like and felt like a slob due to my lack of luggage. I was able to meet with and interview the country director for World Vision, which was nice, but I looked a little disheveled.

I borrowed a toothbrush and toothpaste from the hotel, so at least my teeth were clean, but the hotel shampoo turned my hair into a bird’s nest that I couldn't brush and I didn’t have my warm clothes, except for what I wore on the planes. To top it off, I had insomnia my first two nights here, which meant that I watched BBC world news for hours in my bed, because that is the only English station. Also, I had no access to my computer, because I lacked my plug converter.

My lost luggage subsequently meant that today, the first day of the conference, where we traveled around town being tourists and visiting schools, I had to meet all of these important people in the same clothes I had been wearing for 72 hours. I would have bought a new outfit on Tuesday, but the airport assured me that my luggage would be delivered to my hotel on Tuesday, though they were wrong, and it was delivered Wednesday.

Today was a very good day though. We visited the offices of the local government of Sarajevo, visited two schools, had a city tour, and finished the evening off with a reception at the President’s Palace. After we returned from the reception, I spent the evening having drinks in the hotel bar with other peacebuilders, some from Save the Children, and others from smaller NGOs or governments.

Wednesday was a good day in Sarajevo, much better than Tuesday since I received my clothes.

More details to come, but for now, I am tired.

Time in Bosnia: 11:23 pm, Wednesday, March 11

Five Airports Later...

And I am here in Sarajevo, Bosnia-Herzegovina.

I can definitely say this has been the worst travel experience of my life, but at least I made it here on the same day I was supposed to.

I went from Los Angeles to Chicago to Copenhagen to Vienna to Sarajevo. (On a side note, one interesting thing is that every airport had a different kind of toilet.) Our flight out of LA was delayed because of weather in Chicago, which made me miss my connecting flight to Munich. The customer service counter in LA, which I visited three times, told me I would have to spend 24 hours in Chicago and catch a flight the next day, putting me in Sarajevo 24 hours after I originally planned to be here.

When I got to Chicago, I waited in the customer service line for 3 HOURS (along with many other very agitated people) to find an alternative to having to spend the night in Chicago. The lady there gave me the option of going through Copenhagen and flying out that night, and she printed out my new itinerary for me. I excitedly took the train to my new terminal, and went to check in only to have the man at the counter tell me United overbooked the flight to Copenhagen, so I would be first on the standby list. I waited in the customer service line for three hours only to be further frustrated and disappointed… I was pissed. He said I should be hopeful though.

So I hurried through security and went to the gate to have a different man tell me not to worry because I would make it on the flight. There were three of us on standby: a man, his teenage son, and me. The problem was that there were empty seats, but not enough meals. All of us said we were willing to go without the meals, but the lady said that was not an option. The same lady then allowed the man and the son to board, and I kindly told her that I was also on standby and was actually first on the list. Then she told me that there was no more room on the plane for me! Once again, I told her I was FIRST on the standby list. She apologized again and said, there are only two seats, you wouldn’t want to separate a father and a son would you. I then began crying because I was exhausted, frustrated, and hungry. I just sat there in the gate and cried, and she came up to me and said, I can give you a seat on the plane, but I can’t give you any meals. I said, that’s fine, I already told you I don’t need any meals. I then proceeded to walk through the plane with tears still rolling down my face and everyone looking at me like I was an idiot.

I continued on my long journey, finally landing in Sarajevo only to… not have any luggage! And the story will continue hopefully with a happy ending if I get my luggage tomorrow.

On a better note: I am here, it is beautifully snowing, and I had a really nice taxi ride from the airport. The taxi driver gave me an impromptu tour of the city, so tomorrow when I go out I know where to explore.

I don’t know when I will be able to post again, due to the fact that I don’t have a plug converter for my laptop, because it is in my suitcase with my warm jacket, mittens, scarf, clean underwear, toothbrush…

Ah, the joys of traveling!

Time in Bosnia: 11:21 pm, Monday, March 9