Monday, March 23, 2009

Reflecting Upon My Time in Bosnia

I’m sure anyone who reads this blog is tired of hearing about Bosnia. Because really, that is all I have posted about in the past month or two. I haven’t written about much else, because I didn’t really know how to express myself or explain my journey. Truthfully, it was very nice to have a focus away from life here in San Diego for a while. These past few months have been challenging for me. I have been asking myself some pretty big questions around faith and purpose. I have had some interesting interactions around these topics and some awkward ones. I have spent the past few months vacillating between depression, apathy, joy, and hope. I have never been more in love with my husband, but I have probably never driven him crazier than I have in the past few months. Within that context, I went off to Bosnia and was away from home for nine days.

People ask how my trip was, and because so many people ask, but not all of them want a long explanation, I have narrowed it down to one word: formative.

My trip was formative.

In my solitude, I thought a lot about what I believe and what I value.

I believe that there is a higher power greater than myself. I call this higher power God and sometimes Jesus. I know that there are many others who use a different name, and I find strength in so many people believing in something beyond themselves and what is tangible. I don’t know all of the details about what I believe, but I am okay with not knowing for now.

I value family, friends, and community. I want to make a difference in the world, but really, these are the things that matter most.

So if you ask me what I plan to do when I graduate, you will not get an answer. I do not have one, and I finally am okay and content with not knowing.

1 comment:

  1. Love your honesty Brooke...makes me feel a little more ok about my own indecision ;)
    The pics are FANTASTIC! What a gorgeous place, and that's so cool that you got to that bridge where Franz Ferdinand was killed (I guess I just outed myself as a fellow history nerd).