35 weeks.

Dear baby,

This week I felt you have hiccups! You seem to move all of the time, and sometimes it feels like there is a little earthquake happening in my belly. It is quite surreal.

This week we also went to the beach, and I wore a bikini in public with my big belly! I received a lot of looks and comments, but it was kind of fun. Even though this photo embarrasses me, I felt like it was something that should be documented, because wow, that is a big belly.

We for sure have two names picked out for you now- one for if you are a boy and one for if you are a girl. Choosing a name was the hardest. We wanted to pick a name that was unique, but also had some meaning behind it. I remember writing in my journal a few years ago what names I liked for my future children, and this week, I went to find that journal just for fun. My entry was written on November 21, 2009, and although we were still far away from becoming parents, I wrote a little bit about what it might be like to be a mom, and wrote out our favorite baby names, and that list included the two names we ended up choosing, so I guess we've liked these names for awhile now. We are keeping your name a secret until you are born.

Love,

Mama

(This week's photos taken at Ocean Beach.)

34 weeks.

Dear baby,

This week was another full one that left me feeling so much gratitude for this life and the people I am surrounded by. I had a surprise baby shower at work that was so thoughtful and lovely. My coworkers are some of the most inspirational people I have ever known in my life. The next day, I had a shower given by my San Diego friends. So many of our friends are dispersed all over the country and world, and I so wish that everyone I love could all live in one little community, but I was reminded this week of the joy of making new friends wherever life takes you. San Diego is our home, and the friends we have here are all friends we have only known for a handful of years, but they are amazing, generous, kind, and loving. I am so grateful my path has crossed with so many wonderful people in this life. Now, all the baby showers are over, your room is in progress, and it is time to finish up the rest of our to do list before you arrive. 

Love, 

Mama

(This week's photos taken in our neighborhood after a delicious Sunday brunch. Every year the Jacaranda trees bloom in spring and line the streets of San Diego- a reminder of the reliable beauty that comes after winter.)

33 weeks.

Dear baby, 

This week was an exciting and full one! We had your dad's parents staying with us for a few days (your Grammy and Papa) to help out with house projects and they painted your room! We took maternity photos with a professional who will come take photos of you too when you join our family. My brother, your uncle Travis, stayed with us for a few days around his birthday and we adventured around San Diego. These photos were taken in La Jolla after our failed attempt at kayaking. Apparently, pregnant women are not allowed in kayaks, or so we were told, so we just enjoyed the beach instead. Also, this week, we had a baby shower with my family that was so wonderful and magical, and even included an Easter egg hunt. It was a busy week filled with family and love all around, and wow, you are a lucky one for the crazy family you will be born into. 

Love, 

Mama

(This week's photos taken on the lovely shores of La Jolla.)

32 weeks.

Another letter from your dad! As a part of our birthing class we took, your dad had a homework assignment to write you a letter. Here it is for this week's note:

Dear Baby G.,

Life can be a bore if you ignore the moments of plain amusement that surround. In the swaying trees, stars, nature, smiles, and even the constant warm sunshine, we can find fun and simple pleasure. One of the few important lessons that I want you grasp in your time on this earth is that there is no shortage of amazing things to learn and do. Surely when I tell you that as a teen you will roll your eyes, and when I tell you that as a five year old you will be confused. So let me, for just a minute, explain, and perhaps you will understand a little better.

Sometimes we seek out the most “fun” entertainment or toy in the hopes that it will fulfill us, or make us smile. I still find myself looking forward to all kinds of things- weekends, vacation, fun with friends. What I have learned in my aged wisdom (ha!) is that we need to really take time to enjoy the moments we are in. We will share so many moments together that it will be easy to look past the normal things that happen. Already I can see it happening. Your mother lets me feel your arms and feet bump against her belly and it's become commonplace. We went to the doctor yesterday and heard your heartbeat again and the doctor talked right over it. These little moments are among the most astounding I have experienced, but we can forget that if we don't take time to stop and appreciate how amazing they are.

It is my pledge to love you in all moments. I hope you will do the same when you are consciously able to. It will be work. We have a challenging task ahead of us. It is no easy thing to be that present when you have bills and chores (me) not to mention teething and tantrums (you). It seems that on this journey towards selflessness and appreciation of the everyday there are a lot of obstacles placed in our way of enjoying the little things. I pray that I can be your guide. 

I hope that I can be an example to you, because, really, when it comes down to it, love can be lost if you don’t continually look for it in the normal everyday moments. I will devote myself to you. I want to do this, because now you will be in the time of life where you need to develop a self, create your identity, and make life your own (not to mention, grow and develop cognitive abilities). Eventually you will give more of yourself to others as well. Perhaps that is one of the major purposes of life- once we have established the self, to learn to give of ourselves. I look forward to helping you along that journey, the first step of which is trying my best to provide for you and model/ live it out for your sake.

I pray a blessing on our new family, and hope to love you the best I can.

I love you,

Your dad

(This week's photos taken on a Sunday trip to dog beach in Ocean Beach.)

31 weeks.

Dear baby, 

This week was spring break, and this photo is of me at the highest point in the city of San Diego on top of Cowles Mountain. It was a slow and steady journey, but I made it to the top. I think one of the hardest things about being pregnant has been the physical changes that have slowed me down and made me not feel like myself. Just this past summer, I summited Mount Whitney and Half Dome, and now I am slowly struggling to make it up this little mountain. I like to be the fast hiker, not the slow waddler (although I don't yet think I'm really in the waddling phase just yet).

This week we finished our birthing class and hired a doula, so things are getting more real. Labor and birth will be happening before we know it. It has been empowering to learn so much about the labor and birth process, and I am really happy to have a doula to feel supported by. I am half terrified and half excited by it all. 

Love, 

Mama

(This week's photo taken atop Cowles Mountain, the highest point in San Diego.)