Sunday, April 30, 2017

Dear Cambria. // Six months old.

Dear Cambria, 

You are six months old. What a joy it has been to have you as an addition to our family. 

This letter will get to be all about you and who we know you to be at six months old, but I first wanted to share what a gift you have been to me. 

I have become a different, more complete version of myself because of you. 

I have had to follow my heart more than ever. Give myself more grace. Trust myself. Offer up more love than I ever have. In the midst of doing the hard work, I have found a deep joy for this role that I have immersed myself in completely over the past six months. I have fallen in love with motherhood because of you. I have had to surrender myself to this role more than ever before, and in complete surrender, I have found more joy than I ever expected.

In these ways, while I have fed you, clothed you, rocked you, held you, and cuddled you, Cambria, you have actually given me more than I have given you. You have unveiled in me a truer version of myself, a side of myself that I am just beginning to get to know, something raw and vulnerable. 


There is so much that you have contributed in your short six months of life. You have changed us.

My love for you was instantaneous. I loved you so much from the second the doctor held you up. That moment of seeing you for the first time and hearing the doctor say, “it’s a girl,” will forever be imprinted on my mind, even though I was in an incredible amount of pain and kind of delirious. You have showed me that there is no limit to the amount of love one can have. Before you were born, I couldn’t imagine loving someone as much as Everett, and then you came along, and I am amazed at how I love you both so much. 

Life has been more beautiful and transformative with you in it than I could have ever imagined. The daily mundane moments have become more meaningful and joyful with you around. There have been so many times over the past six months when I have looked at my life and I am completely overwhelmed with gratitude.  

You have added more to our family than I could have ever dreamed. One of the greatest gifts of my life has been observing your sibling relationship develop with your brother. I am incredibly grateful that you two spend your days together and how much you love each other. It is truly remarkable. This was something I didn’t expect with adding a second child, and it has been such a beautiful thing to witness. 


Now on to the facts of who you are at six months old:

  • have two bottom teeth coming in.
  • love to smile, make noises, and laugh. 
  • have two nicknames. We call you the “pterodactyl” because of your ability to shriek, not really a happy or sad noise, just a longing to be known and recognized that we can all relate to. We also call you “Cambo,” which your brother made up, and we just kind of followed his lead with that one.
  • like someone to be paying attention to you at all times. 
  • like to be held and worn in the carrier. 
  • like to roll around and can almost sit up by yourself. 
  • love to be outside more than anything else. 
  • love your mama, your dada, and your brother; he is your favorite person and elicits the most glee out of you. 
  • don’t like to sleep through the night, not even close. You wake up every 2-3 hours at night at the very least, and often a lot more. The longest stretch you have slept is four hours straight, and that only happened twice. We are sleep deprived and have been for a long time (so maybe this letter won’t make any sense- my brain doesn’t really work any more, but my heart is happy). 

Things with you have been different than I expected.

Before you came, I was wondering how we would ever manage having a toddler and a newborn. 

Some of it has been easier.

Breastfeeding was so much easier with you than with Everett. With Everett, it took us a good eight weeks until we figured it out. With you, it was working by the end of week one. 

Recovering from birth was so much easier with you than with Everett, as we had a different birth experience which was beautiful in another way.

Some of it has been harder. 

It has been much more difficult for me to have two kids compared to one. It has required so much more work and energy and so much less sleep than I anticipated. 

All of it has brought more joy than I ever expected.


While you and I have a deeply intimate relationship, you are still somewhat of a mystery. We don’t know a lot about your personality yet or who you will be, but I can’t wait to get to know you more. If nothing else, at six months old, I want you to know that you are deeply and incredibly loved. 


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