Friday, December 19, 2008

Figuring Out What I am going to do for the Rest of my Life

Note to reader: This post is disjointed, which I guess it should be, because who really has coherent thoughts about what the rest of life will hold?

As previously posted, I have my three-week break from school to figure out what I am going to do with my life post-master’s degree. This is a big goal for a time span of three weeks, but it is the only time I will have off until the end of August, so I have to at least begin thinking about something.

I figured that a good starting place would be to review my life goals list. Yes, I do have one (this blog is getting nerdier by the day). One of my great personal flaws is that I often live in the future. I am a very goal-oriented person who enjoys setting goals and accomplishing them. However, while I am often thinking about the future, I do still greatly enjoy the present, which is actually one of the problems I am encountering. I don’t want to finish my master’s degree. I really do like it so much that I just want to keep going to school.

Regarding the future, lately I have felt this pulling in two directions. One direction is the path of a career, which may require me to move, leaving friends, family, and a better church community than I could have ever hoped for. The other is the path of being a mom (don’t get your hopes up, because that still will not be happening for some time unless through an act of God). I am a firm believer that women can have thriving careers and be wonderful mothers, but I just don’t know if I have the energy to be both at the same time. I remember when I was teaching high school, thinking, how can any woman who has children do a good job at teaching and at being a mom?

In summary, I feel at a crossroad:
Do I want to pursue a career in peacebuilding (which could mean looking for jobs all over the country or living abroad for a year or looking into Ph.D. programs)?
Do I want to pursue settling down in San Diego with the eventual goal of being a mom?

I do believe that a person can accomplish all of her life goals in one life. I am sure that I can somehow have a career and children. But what type of career will that be? Do I want to stay put or follow the wanderlust that is always present within me?


  1. "Do I want to stay put or follow the wanderlust that is always present within me?"

    I resonate with that for sure.

  2. This is a very tough decision! I have a feeling, though, that it will become more obvious once you're done with school...these things have a way of being extremely obvious when the time is right.

  3. Trust the Holy Spirit he wont lead you astray. I find that a lot of times when I am at crossroads like these that I forget that simple truth and realize that i am trying to control my own life, its a bad idea. Psalm 25:15 "my eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare." <3

  4. Thanks for the comment Dusty. You are right. The Holy Spirit won't lead me astray.