Thursday, November 2, 2017

An ordinary day that had a lot of meaning for me.

It's been about six months since I decided to not go back to work this year to stay at home with my kids. It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. These photos are special to me because this is what we did the day after I finalized my choice to become a stay at home mom. It was a decision that was wrought with a lot of worry and anxiety, and this canyon adventure helped me to feel validated about it. It was one of those mostly perfect stay at home mom days, when both kids are in a good mood for much of the day, and there is magic in the little adventure we go on. We walked to this canyon from our house. Everett spent time collecting leaves, sticks, and threw rocks in a creek, while Cambria napped on me in the carrier. We were surrounded by yellow flowers and I felt grateful for my choice to take time off work to spend my days like this for a season of life. This time in the canyon brought me peace when I was lacking it, and even though it was just an ordinary day, it had a lot of meaning for me.

In this season of life of slowing down (but also never really slowing down), poetry has been life giving for me. It provides a little moment of truth and beauty that speaks to my soul. I recently came across this poem by Mary Oliver called "The Journey," and it served as a reminder to how important it is to follow our inner voice, which is what led me to take time off to be home with my kids.

"One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
'Mend my life!'
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voice behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life that you could save."

No comments:

Post a Comment