Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Summer in the Sierras: a little film.

This past summer, we spent a few weeks in the Sierras, first in Mammoth and then in Yosemite. I love making little videos to document our family, and finally finished this one. It had been over a year since I put one together, and it was fun for me to have a project to work on, both during the trip and then upon coming home. The last video I made was to announce our pregnancy with our second babe, and now she is almost one.

I have a hard time using the word "creative" to describe myself, but sometimes I enjoy making something for no other reason than because it is fun and feels good, and that's how it felt to put these little clips together into a short video.
The song is "Memories are Now" by Jessica Hoop. It was my summer anthem as I experienced postpartum depression, which I struggled with from May to August (the details of that journey may be something I share in a different journal entry another day, because I have learned a lot and it is something I am trying to be more brave about). To me, this song was a message to depression, and every time I sang the words or danced to them with my family, I felt like I was telling my postpartum depression that I would overcome it, even though at times it felt insurmountable. I am cautiously hopeful that I am on the other side of it, but throughout summer, I kept coming back to this song as a reminder to be present, focus on now. The lyrics became a sort of mantra for me. It was a hard trip, but a good trip. It was a hard summer, but a good summer. I love adventuring with this family of mine. 

"I'm only here
Memories are now
I can carry this weight, I can stand up tall
Look you in the eye
You haven't broken me yet
You don't scare me to death
You don't scare me at all though you try
I've lived enough life
I've earned my stripes

The only fear is a thing called fear
I'm only here
I have only now to bear the load
To feel my way, trust my mistakes

Memories are now
Memories are now
Memories are now
And every doubt is just a trigger proven strength

Clear the way, I'm coming through
No matter what you say
I've got work to be doing
If you're not here to help
Go find some other life to ruin
Take a bite out of me
Find you've got more than you're happy chewing
You have outstayed your welcome
Let's get up, get on, get moving
Get moving, get moving, get moving
Let me show you the door"

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