Friday, May 4, 2012

On a walk around the block// Thoughts on happiness.

(a found treasure from my walk, just lying on the sidewalk upside down, now it has a new home on my windowsill) 

Sometimes I give myself little challenges. One of my most recent challenges was to notice the beauty on an evening walk around the block.

Lately, I've been thinking about happiness and how it is that one is happy in life. Here's a little confession: happiness doesn't come naturally to me. It's something I have to actively seek out in life. I want to be the type of person who is always naturally, effortlessly happy, but it's just not me. I overanalyze every little thing, I worry, I wonder if I'm a good enough teacher, wife, person, I am exhausted by my work on a regular basis, I get in little funks that I can't seem to get out of... the list goes on. 

After spending so much time studying to get a Master's degree in Peace and Justice Studies a few years ago, I've spent the past year focusing on developing inner peace. To tell you the truth, I don't even know what that last sentence really means, but I've realized that finding inner peace and happiness takes effort for me, and so I've been trying to put in the effort. I've let myself seek and find happiness, when I used to feel selfish doing things just for myself, like I didn't deserve to really enjoy life while there are so many people out there who are suffering. However, I've come to learn that I only really have something true and authentic to give others when I focus on my own inner happiness and peace. And so that is what I continue to seek after and find, even on simple walks around the block.

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